aishajamil

Posts Tagged ‘short story’

Dark Abyss Hotel: What Do You Think So Far?

In 2012 on March 2, 2012 at 4:09 am

The beginning of a short story that I wrote when I was 16. What do you think so far (in terms of the writing)? I would love feedback on this. Any type. Just don’t be exteremely rude. 🙂

“All passengers please take yourhandbags and other items and exit the plane. Flight 911 had to make an emergency landing due to inclement weather. All passengers will be staying atthe Dark Abyss Hotel located a mere 13 miles from here. This flight will resume tomorrow morning at precisely 1200 hours. Please be advised that due to some technical problems, the lighting in this part of the area is not functioning. Thank you,” said the ominous voice from the speaker. The man glanced to his left andlooked out the window to see a distant tornado approaching. Something didn’t feel right. He felt that something atrocious was going to happen. He uttered some cursed words under his breath and entered the small terminal. The terminal was a small sort of walkway that seemed to cave in on the man, who was claustrophobic. He walked into the airport and looked around him at the scary shadows looming beside him. Since the airport had no electricity, the man had troubleseeing around him (he was already blind in one eye), and just to make it worse, he couldn’t understand the people around him. They kept speaking in some sort of foreign language, which the man recognized as a Middle Eastern dialect. The place had a ghostly chill to it, as if all the people walking around him were the eidolons of the supernatural world.  The man knew he was xenophobic and a little paranoid, after all, what happened las tyear in France, and the year before in Mexico wasn’t exactly helpful either. However, this was different. The man felt eyes creeping up and down his spine everywhere he went. As he paced down the darkhall in the airport, he noticed a pair of bloodshot eyes following him. The man got really nervous and jogged down the hallway and finally reached the luggage counter. Getting his luggage, he ran out of the airport and signaled for a taxicab to stop.

A taxicab pulled up to the man and asked the man in a foreign language where he would like to go. The man pointed to a card with the words “Dark Abyss Hotel”. With a quick uncanny jerk of the accelerator, the cab driver drove away. The man was startled. How dare that foreigner drive away! The next cab that pulled up refused to go to his destination, but with forceful persuasion and the 100 dollar bill the manpulled out, the driver reluctantly agreed.

Reaching the Dark Abyss Hotel, the man noticed a black limo had pulled up behind him. From the outside, the hotel was painted black and red, and it was shaped it the image of a skull bleeding.The hotel was originally designed for teenagers and kids who came into town fora haunting and fun experience; however, due to its low number of guests, the airport had bought the hotel for occasions like these. Paying the driver with his only 100 bill, the man entered the dark hotel and saw on his right, a statue of an angel weeping blood. The man was shocked and horrified. He checked in, and started up the stairs to reach his room. He entered the room andexhausted from everything, decided to take a shower. He walked into thebathroom and looked in the mirror. The last thing he saw were those bloody eyes.